【犬狼扫文笔记】NO.9 sqvalors太太专场
sqvalors太太是我的真爱，看名字就知道她有多古典了（拉丁语雕刻中U V不分）怎么说呢，她就，很有风格。笔锋凌厉，行文如刀，还是精准冰冷的手术刀，游刃有余，沥沥血珠。问句从来不用问号，叠词永远都像叹息。她的西里斯英俊得令人发指，被这个愚蠢的世界磨了那么久都还鲜血淋漓地棱角分明着；她的莱姆斯理智得要人发疯，分明不该情深如此却偏偏耽溺虚妄无可自拔。就像她的自我介绍里说的：
22, UK, vaguely incompetent classics student. I like angst and pairings with at least one person dead, undead, or wrongly accused of murder and incarcerated for twelve years.
1. The Cartography of the Wreck
作者：berhanes (sqvalors)
原文链接：https://archiveofourown.org/works/5710000
Summary:
He wants and he can't keep wanting. He should've known years ago that everything he had was built on a floodplain.
笔记：
分崩离析的过程慢速放给你看。倒叙，讲犬狼之间是如何一步一步产生嫌隙的。张力把握得太好了。
2. To Fill A Gap
作者：berhanes(sqvalors)
原文链接：https://archiveofourown.org/works/11201949
Summary:
Sirius' face is caught in a rectangle of late afternoon sun and Remus wants suddenly to reach across the three feet and fourteen years between them and touch him where the light hits. He lets himself imagine that he could, that in a moment he'll just lean forward and trace the curve between Sirius' neck and his jaw with his fingertips without it feeling like penitence. A different version of himself would've already done it. But then, a different version of himself wouldn't be here in the first place.
笔记：
同系列（sorry about the blood in your mouth）第二篇。时间点依然很微妙，Lie Low at Lupin's时期。
标题来自Emily Dickenson的诗：
To fill a Gap
Insert the Thing that caused it --
Block it up
With Other -- and 'twill yawn the more --
You cannot solder an Abyss
With Air.
要填满一道沟
插入导致它的东西--
堵塞它
它张口---还要别的--
你不能焊接一个无底洞
用空气。
我渐渐有点能感觉出来她的行文风格了:
关键词：more... than...
if only they were both more flesh than bone
it's just how things are when you're eleven and already more scar than skin.
关键词：赎罪
The edges of it rake against the inside of his ribs like something he should atone for;
He lets himself imagine that he could, that in a moment he'll just lean forward and trace the curve between Sirius's neck and his jaw with his fingertips without it feeling like penitence.
她写莱姆斯在雨中走了好久回去看望老父亲，因为她笔下的莱姆斯就是有自我惩罚的倾向。因为战争的缘故，莱姆斯几乎快两年没见到父亲了。越是不见，越害怕见面。害怕爸爸看到现在的自己成了什么模样，害怕爸爸不知道该拿这个早已被负担压垮的儿子怎么办。
how to navigate around the unspoken grief weighing him down long before there was loss to merit it.
但我还是最最最喜欢她的西里斯：
Here's the thing, about Sirius - it shouldn't be as difficult as it is to reconcile the man Remus knows with the man he apparently didn't. Sirius always had a cruel streak, a selfish bent to him, a knack for being despicable without really thinking; Remus doubts he could help it, sometimes.
这是她挑明了点出来的，还有更多、更深、难以名状的特点，要靠你仔细品味西里斯的措辞和动作（抑或不动作）。总之原著中惊鸿一瞥的年轻西里斯，大概就是她笔下的样子。
对比起来，我当然是爱Against the Moon里的西里斯的，但是因为大多数时候是从莱姆斯的视角出发，Stoplight Delight女神更多地展现的是他仗义、保护欲的那一面，只有在彼得和其他不重要的人面前才能看到他不经意间流露出的残忍。cruel streak，这是无法否认的。要有多没心没肺的人，才会在莱姆斯面前毫无愧意地说“真希望明天是满月”？
但是正因为如此吧，从他身上流淌出来的真情实感也就格外珍贵，令人无法放手、欲罢不能。莱姆斯回忆昔日友人的陪伴时，西里斯这段虐杀我了：
It's the week before Easter and Remus is pulled backwards by his robes into a broom cupboard and Sirius is hissing something in his ear about a suit of armour he's just hexed to chase the next student that walks by and he wasn't planning on that student being one of his friends, and Remus zeroes in on that one golden word and holds it safe in his fist.
3. Tartan Tribulations
作者：sqvalors
原文链接：https://archiveofourown.org/works/332865
Summary:
In which Remus' clothes mysteriously disappear, McGonagall is surprisingly collected and Sirius is, as usual, insufferable.
笔记：
哈哈哈这篇很可爱了！西里斯指使詹姆去级长浴室偷了莱姆斯的衣服！于是倒霉的莱姆斯赤身裸体地遇到了麦格……
"You bastard."
Sirius shakes his head, grinning as he folds the cloak away. "You should've seen the way you skidded around that corner."
某人真的很恬不知耻哎！
4. Not Very Punk
作者：sqvalors
原文链接：https://archiveofourown.org/works/765954
Summary:
Sharing clothes with James is not the same as sharing clothes with Remus; he knows it and James knows it, and now he’d quite like to get them both blindingly drunk so they can conveniently forget it. (implied R/S, First War)
笔记：
一篇莱姆斯完全没出场的高甜犬狼！YES！鹿犬换衣服穿和犬狼换衣服穿是完全不一样的，我们都懂，都懂。
5. This Word Lies At The Bottom Of A Lake
作者：sqvalors
原文链接：https://archiveofourown.org/works/12557488
Summary:
R/S Games 2017 - Day 25 - Team Sirius
Briefly he'd considered going to visit Remus, but Sirius has too many stacked up feelings about him to add any more, and he doesn't trust himself not to ruin their carefully patched situation in the wake of the incident – it's only been a year, after all, and there's no better way to shatter a barely recovered friendship than by doing something stupid like throwing out a declaration of love in the middle of explaining the myriad ways in which your family is deranged and terrible. So instead Sirius had hailed the Knight Bus and requested Bowness-on-Windermere.
笔记：
作者的基友Montparnasse强烈推荐的一篇。我觉得是尖叫棚屋事件处理得最好的几篇同人之一。
sqvalors学古典专业的，她说自己写作风格很明显，但我看了半天也没看出她是受谁影响的…Jeanette Winterson maybe?她说过这是她不假思索就会买的作者。
本文标题她解释说是来自玛格丽特·阿特伍德的诗集《Two Headed Poems (ix) 》，也不知是碰巧还是怎的，诗里有很多关于湖和淹死的意象。她以此为灵感，写了西里斯的梦境。算是带点预言性质吧，在反反复复的噩梦里，他把雷古勒斯拖下水，扼住他纤细的咽喉……
作者选的时期比较巧妙，就是尖叫棚屋事件发生之后、犬狼两人关系最尴尬的时候。西里斯发现自己喜欢莱姆斯，但是怎么好意思在刚差点被你害死的人面前提“爱”呢？莱姆斯一如既往地温和与睿智，“你在我面前用不着这么如履薄冰的，知道吗？”
He can hear Remus following him but Sirius doesn't turn to check in case his feelings are somehow writ large on his face, a sephamore flag of fragile want.
我觉得很好看。
6. For Brave Men Died and Empires Rose and Fell For Love
作者：sqvalors
原文链接：https://archiveofourown.org/works/2714063
Summary:
The animal fury in the face silently raging from the front page is only faintly recognisable, but the quicksilver eyes are as piercing as they ever were.
Remus turns the newspaper over and lights another cigarette.
笔记：
写出狱后的西里斯如何艰难回归正轨。短短八百多个字就写尽了西里斯的脱节、神经质、暗暗隐藏的渴望和莱姆斯的心疼、无所适从和从未止息的爱。
He tells himself that if he doesn't open his eyes, just focuses on the soft sleep breath on the back of his neck and the listless weight of Sirius' arm across his waist, he can pretend he's twenty-one and fearless.
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